Final Analysis
by robert3A-SN
Summary: Jeff is nearly ready to ask Annie out after months of progress with her and with therapy. Yet before he can do that, his shrink floats the theory that Jeff might not be in love with Annie – but rather with the idea of being in love.


"I think I'm almost ready now," Jeff revealed in his psychiatrist's office, minutes into his weekly session. "I'm getting close to asking her out, at least. That's pretty good, right?"

Jeff actually hoped for approval from his shrink, since he was his best psychiatrist by far. Dr. Daniel Dougherty – or Dr. Doc, as he reluctantly let himself be called – didn't give him pills or talk about 'edible' issues, so that made him the best right there. By venting to him for the last four months, Jeff had made real progress – especially on all things Annie.

"That's very good, Jeffrey," Dr. Doc admitted. "Will you make it a secret date? Away from the judgment of your friends?"

"Probably not," Jeff surprised himself – not as much as he would have a while ago. "I mean, she'll never hide it from Troy and Abed, and they can't keep secrets either. So I guess I have to ask her out, take her out that night, then tell the group the next day before they do. Assuming it went well enough that I'd _want _to tell them anything."

"On the off chance it does, could you can defend your….situation to them?" Dr. Doc wondered. "You feared what they'd think for a long time. That doesn't just go away."

"It's gotten manageable," Jeff admitted. "Now that me and Shirley are closer, she might pray to God to cut off my junk, instead of doing it herself. I think I'll be unscathed in that case. And I've had the Troy card ready to play on Britta for months now. Troy and Abed might play overprotective dad characters for a while, but they'll get bored without blorgons around. And Pierce is…..Pierce, so who'll listen to him?"

"That's really something, Jeffrey. You spent months on end worrying about their reactions. As well as the health of your group and your…..equipment," Dr. Doc recounted. "Now it's no big deal to you. Makes you wonder why you spent all that time panicking."

"Years, technically, but you got the rest," Jeff credited. "I guess things are finally falling into place now. Plus we have a half-year left at Greendale, so they can't waste _all _of it attacking me. And with all this progress and all the good times I've had with Annie lately, something's bound to go wrong soon. If I don't tell her before then, when _can _I tell her?"

"Well, you can't rush into this because of that," Dr. Doc warned. "Just like you can't rush if someone else gets interested in Annie, remember? We talked about that at great length."

"Yeah, yeah. If I confess because I'm jealous and I'm afraid I can't have her, it doesn't really prove I want her for _her_. I know, I know," Jeff brushed past. "But that hasn't happened yet, thank God. Maybe it never will now."

"Maybe not in that way. But there are other ways to confess for the wrong reasons. Before you do anything, we need to rule those out once and for all," Dr. Doc laid out. "And I don't think I can quite yet."

"I'm not doing this because she's with another guy. And it's not because of a bet, my dad, to get over Britta, to screw over Pierce, or to get the Dean off my back. Or even to break my sex drought! You remember how well we covered that!" Jeff pointed out as they both shuddered at the memories. "So what other 'wrong reasons' could there be?"

"A pretty bad one, actually," Dr. Doc teased. "We both know Annie is everything you still struggle to be. Sweet, caring, compassionate, passionate, and who believes in good everywhere. Yet despite those vast differences, you're almost together anyway. That says a lot about you and your powers, doesn't it?"

"Powers? Doc, be more specific. I got more than a few dozen of those," Jeff bragged, although he knew the doctor wasn't buying his deflection.

"For all your faults, Jeffrey, Annie still cares about you," Dr. Doc went on undeterred. "She's forgiving and selfless like that, as you've made great pains to tell me. You've never been around that kind of woman before – or at least haven't wanted her around before. The fact that someone like this can love you validates you as a person, despite everything you've been and still are. Plus this validates other things as well."

"Define _things_," was all Jeff could say.

"Like your newfound need to be loved. You didn't think you needed it before, but all these years in Greendale have proven you wrong. Now you _want _to be loved and admired for reasons other than Winger speeches and your looks," Dr. Doc illuminated. "Getting Annie to love you _would_ make it all worth it. But you're so unfamiliar with wanting these things, you may have latched on to the first woman who could give them to you! We have to entertain that possibility!"

"And you didn't feel like doing it before because…." Jeff left hanging.

"We had to face a _ton _of your issues before we could get to this. Now that you think you're ready to take the leap, we can't wait any longer. Before you ask Annie _anything_, we must make sure your feelings are what you think they are," Dr. Doc dared to bring up.

"Well, how can I argue with you if_ I_ barely know what they are? You've got me at a disadvantage here!" Jeff groaned.

"This is why you have me to help you figure them out. I'm just presenting a theory I've developed for a while. One I think you're ready to handle now," Dr. Doc assured.

"I wouldn't bet anything valuable on that, just in case. But go on, I guess," Jeff relented.

"You're not in love with Annie," Dr. Doc bluntly stated. "You're in love with the _idea _of _being _in love. And if you can convince someone like Annie to love you, you'll never be unloved. It's why you run through the same scenarios over and over, looking for different results even you can't sabotage," he explained as Jeff tried and failed to think of a retort.

"It's why you keep rushing to Annie's rescue, even if she doesn't need it, so you can be the hero to her. It's why you really thought of her as a little girl, because you wanted to change her and make her suitable enough to date, as per your fantasy. It's because of _you_ and _your _needs and issues – not because of a genuine connection to Annie herself. That's the theory, anyway."

Jeff froze on the couch, jaw dropped in befuddlement. "Where the _hell _did you get _that_?" he asked, going with the first and only thing he could think of.

"It developed over time. I merely read between the lines of your Annie stories," the doctor voiced. "I didn't want to believe it, and I'm not saying I do now! I just think it's a theory we can't dismiss. Despite all your progress, can you _really _say those thoughts would be out of character for you? Even now?"

"If it says something awful about me, probably not. And that's what you're getting at?" Jeff accused.

"I'm not saying it's awful! You've never dealt with love before, so you're bound to make mistakes off the bat! It's understandable!" the doctor reassured.

"And Annie is a mistake. In your _understandable _opinion," Jeff laid on the Winger sarcasm.

"I never said mistake _anywhere _in my theory. Don't put words in my mouth," Dr. Doc urged.

"You're putting entire _thoughts _in my_ brain_, I have to make us even somehow!" Jeff accused.

"It's not that simple and you know it!" the doctor shot back, waiting for Jeff to calm down before continuing. "All I'm saying is there's a chance, not that it's fact. And you have to admit, if you really think about it, it's a real possibility. If it is, no matter how slim, then you're not ready to be in a real, genuine relationship with Annie. If you tried anyway, it would only hurt you and her soon enough! And that's _another_ thing you've gone on and on about being afraid of!"

Jeff had no quip or argument for Dr. Doc, so he went on. "You might care for Annie, but it might just be as a romantic fantasy. I fear deep down, Annie is just part of your vision of what you _think _love is. Not as what it _actually _is."

"Well, it's not like I'm an expert on real love. Which is your point?" Jeff guessed, unable to do much else.

"It's not being in love for the sake of being in love! Or changing someone to fit that ideal! Or being close to someone just to redo scenarios! If anyof that is the slightest bit true for you and Annie, it brings your entire connection with her into question. In that case, for her sake and yours, you two can't be together. Not until this thing is truly real, anyway," the doctor insisted.

Jeff opened his mouth, but nothing came out for once. He stayed there in place as Dr. Doc used one final argument. "I just want you to think about it, that's all. Look in your mind and see if any of what I said is true. If it is, we can work through it in here. If not – and _only _if it's not – you can move forward with Annie. But not before then."

Without a word, Jeff laid on the couch and actually did what the doctor ordered. The room stayed quiet for several minutes, save for a ticking clock and Dr. Doc catching up on writing prescriptions.

When he finished, the silence suddenly ended with Jeff stating, "It makes no sense."

"In what way, Jeffrey?" the doctor caught up.

"In _every _way. Your theory makes no sense. I'm not saying that out of denial, or whatever other psych term you've got. Your entire premise makes….no….sense!" Jeff punctuated slowly. "Maybe it does for some people, but thank God I'm not one of them!"

"Have you really thought about it?" Dr. Doc pressed.

"A hell of a lot more than _you_ have! Otherwise you'd have said it made no sense 20 minutes ago!" Jeff laid out.

"Jeffrey, don't dismiss this just to speed things up with Annie! Yes, I know how ironic that is, but don't let it discredit me!" Dr. Doc jumped ahead. "You need to know, not think, but _know_, that you feel this way because of _Annie_! Not because of some dormant need that could be filled by _anyone_, instead of someone special!"

"If that's all it is, then why do I like talking to her? Why is that the highlight of my day, other than wardrobe changes?" Jeff questioned. "Why do I think about just talking and having fun with her more than having sex with her? I've shown you what she looks like, so you know how remarkable that is!"

"Rather vividly," Dr. Doc reflected on all those 'descriptive' sessions about Annie's looks.

"I don't like just talking with most people, even with most of the group! But I like talking, teasing, debating, riling her up, learning something from her and helping her learn something too. It makes me relieved when we do that and our….issues don't ruin it! It makes me relieved that it's happening more often now! It's not even that bad when it _does _happen these days! Your theory can't explain why I feel all that!" Jeff challenged.

"Maybe not all of it…." the doctor began, yet Jeff quickly cut him off.

"And saying that _I'm _trying to change _her_? She doesn't need my help to do that. In fact, she's been doing it without me 'helping' her most of the time!" Jeff reminded. "She was changing and growing long before she met me. And I've been making it much tougher for her than anyone! But she did it anyway, and it's been for _her_ benefit, not mine! If you really think she did it because I'm trying to _mold _her, it insults her a lotmore than it does me!"

"We can debate my semantics, but-" the doctor barely got out before another interruption.

"And I just defended her honor, too! I don't do that for _anyone_! It's not like she can't defend it herself! But I keep trying, and it's notto make myself look like a hero! Not entirely! I just….think more about making her happy and Disney smiley when I do it. Do I do _that _because I don't want to be unloved?" Jeff asked.

"I never said it was the entire reason! Or said it was the reason at all! It's just a possibility!" Dr. Doc said quickly before he could be interrupted again.

"So that invalidates _everything_?" Jeff wondered. "Then this weird feeling of pride when she stands up to me means nothing. It means nothing when I swell up at the random acts of kindness she does every day – even for Pierce! And it's not real when seeing her loosen up with Troy and Abed and still be herself makes me feel relieved! Oh, and that twitch in my chest when I see her tutoring Shirley's kids, or holding baby Ben, is just 'for the sake of being in love'!" That's great to know!"

"Jeffrey…." Dr. Doc started, but that was all he had.

"_You're_ supposed to help me figure out why I feel these things! If that'sthe best you've got, it's clear I'm doing all the heavy lifting!" Jeff boasted.

"Come on, it's really unfair to say all," Dr. Doc corrected.

"You said I only care about Annie because of some fantasy. So it isn't," Jeff re-corrected. "Even me from three years ago would have known that's crap! If I wanted love for the idea of being in love, I'd have settled for Britta! And if I wanted to change someone, I'd have converted Shirley while she was available!"

Jeff waited for the doctor to dispute him, but he knew he couldn't. So Jeff continued with, "I couldn't feel those things for them….it's just Annie. And you know what? I would never say these sappy words about anyone elsein my life! Not even my mom! And you can't take the credit for that!"

"Well, you weren't so eager to admit this stuff until you came here," the shrink pointed out.

"Maybe not to admitit," Jeff conceded. "But you didn't make me start _thinking _it! Give Annie _some _credit!"

"She's earned thatmuch? On her _own_ merit?" Dr. Doc pushed Jeff on.

"Okay look, maybe some of this is true. But it's not the _whole _truth," Jeff admitted. "You made it like I only care about Annie….because I'm making my life go according to some script. To make her fit into that script. If I had those Abed-like screenwriting powers, I'd have never set foot in Greendale or met Annie at all. She….doesn't fit into scripts."

"What does she fit in, then?" the doctor questioned. Jeff's hand went halfway to his heart, but he caught himself before finishing that over the top gesture. Yet he and his shrink knew his original answer anyway.

"She means more than some idea of love, or some way to prove I can be loved. Annie's…." Jeff waited until he had something concrete.

"She's my best friend. She's the only person I've ever thought of as a best friend. That means she's the most important person, outside of my mom, that I've ever met. I was never looking for that and I found it anyway, so it _proves _I wasn't using her to fit some script! None of that could _ever _do what she's done for me, and I….I…."

Jeff stood up as the final truth uncovered itself. "I love her for it. I _love _her….and I just proved it's not for those fake reasons you said. It's real….I love her and it's real."

He took that in and accepted it for the first time, but then had to accept another truth. "I put her through _so much_ crap because I wouldn't see this earlier. And the first time I say it, it's to my shrink who said it wasn't real…."

With that, Jeff actually chuckled and breathed a deep sigh. "You know what, Dr. Doc? I'm cutting our session short today. There's somewhere else I really need to be right now." On that note, Jeff stormed out of the office.

And afterwards, Dr. Doc had just one thing to say. "Oh, thank _God_ that worked!"

He added an even deeper sigh of relief than Jeff, then sat back in exaggerated fashion. Even if he fell out of the chair, he wouldn't care. He was just so relieved that Jeff Winger's whining, evasiveness, and ungodly annoying denial about Annie Edison was FINALLY over.

Four months of it was three months and 30 days too many. That was how long ago he knew that Jeff was head over heels in love with Annie. And yet they had to go through _so many _issues until Jeff could come _close _to accepting it – and then he had to pull that theory completely out of his ass to finish the job! He feared he did too good a job of reverse psychiatry, but even Jeff couldn't cling to _those _crazy ideas for denial!

At least the oblivious, excuse-ridden whining that Jeff plagued this office with for four months was over. He might drone about Annie even worse after they got together – but ANYTHING would be better than his old routine! It was a wonder that Annie put up with it for _three years_!

But Dr. Doc didn't have to anymore, as it was finally over and Jeff was finally growing a pair. Most importantly, the shrink would no longer hear about all the ways Jeff didn't have one. At least when it came to Annie. At long last…..

"Excuse me, doc?" Jeff interrupted the doctor's reverie when he came back in. "I can't go to Annie's."

Like hell.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" the shrink exploded. "No! No, you are _not _telling me this! I held back because you were _way _too screwed up to hear this before, but now there's no excuse! You are _going _to tell her you love her _now! _Because I can't listen to your cowardice, denial and endless excuses for _one more day!_ Not one! Otherwise I'm committing _myself _before I crush your junk with my Freud bust! What does _that_ tell you? Huh?"

"It….tells me you have my phone," Jeff answered for some reason. "You take it before every session so I don't tune you out, remember? This time I forgot to get it back. And I need to call Annie and see if she's home….or find out where she really is before I talk to her. So…."

With Dr. Doc's right mind somewhat back, he did remember he still had Jeff's phone in his desk. He reached in and got it out for him, like at the end of every normal session – and apparently the abnormal ones. Jeff then took the phone from his somewhat stable psychiatrist and left his office again without a word.

Dr. Doc had no words on his mind either. At least until he sat down, laid his head on his desk and turned on his intercom to call his secretary.

"I'll be starting a four-month long personal day in a minute. Please hold all my calls."


End file.
